Who I Am

Expressing the most important part of existence, what defines your worth, value, and character in life, perception. It's so amazing how someone can alter your perception with the right words of hope and encouragement, suddenly the fear of failure disappears and anything seems possible as you are walking anxious with many anticipations. That frown has been turned upside down.

Smiling and laughter are contagious. Love makes life worth living and happiness complete. We all need encouragement, so instead of being a stumbling block try being a support beam. Life should be measured not by what you do but how many lives you improved.

If I can make a positive difference in someone elses' life then I am happy to have contributed toward their legacy. Spreading your knowledge is a way of seeking immortality, so I'll see you in another life if not in this one.

El Mar y La Luna

If its an escape from reality you seek, I gladly extend my hand to yours. Don't be afraid, I promise not to awake you should the sign at the door read 'Do Not Disturb'. I only wish to invite you ashore where vivid dreams transpire us to become more aware while walking among our censoredd world-

Based on attraction I summon you. To see your face I forget how to be prudent. Your smile and boyish charm are so contagious, I get ill. Thoughts of you put me under a spell. In walking awake, you're a figment of my imagination because I have yet to meet you.

I'd like nothing more than to pull up a chair close to you so that I may embrace you. Infatuated by the beauty of your body and trivia of your mind, I want to dive right in, eyes wide open, into your shirtless body. Be my favorite roller coaster.

You look so sweet and divine, I want to smell and taste your pheromones to melt like a glacier surrounding the earth and drown in your sea of mystery. I know you're busy saving the world one song at a time, but tonight I plead come rescue me from my obsession and lay me down, whisper sweet lullabies or talk dirty, its whatever you like because tonight I dream to please you.

I'm fully aware you may not be receptive to my advances but a girl's got every right to dream, so Ill see you tonight, same time, different place. -

Love Bug

I think cupid's aroma is effecting my senses because I feel like I can fly, Im smelling fragrant flowers, and seeing the beauty in all things, the only thing missing is hearing your voice. I lust the idea of having the time of my life with you around, even if for now there's highway miles that separate us. Its the times that take my breathe away that you appear and remind me to take a breathe of fresh air.

Merry Go Around

I've played the role of both the other woman and the one waiting at home alone; just like any other, the sinner and the saint, the lady in the streets or closet freak. I'll live in the moment to decide. One thing that I have noted is that no one likes the "No Refund" policy so if you dont like sharing, offer up a buffet and forget moderation and add some spice with that variety.

If you do decide to share make sure you are getting the full serving not sloppy seconds. Two wrongs might make you want to rethink strategy but for those of us that have been there, done that, we kindly tune out the static and reminisce on other peoples notebook stories.

Letoya Luckett says it best with her remix of " Regret" featuring Ludacris, which couldn't have been better timing than now with Ludacris embarking on his Battle of the Sexes tour and album release. Letoya is looking lovely and even better is Luda offering his take on appreciating what some other man may have taken for granted.

I think the new collaboration between man and female among HipHop and R&B is a beautiful thing not only for record sales but also for the morale. Who remembers when Sparkle and R. Kelly did their duet along with Avant & Kiki, better yet alot of folks forget about the wonderful collaboration Jay Z did with Foxy Brown, Lil Kim with Notorious BIG, or Trina & Trick Daddy. It's good seeing the battle of the sexes retreat from their toxic vices and find harmony in each others voices.

Definition of a Hater:

I’ve always wondered what defines or classifies a Hater, is it those that envy you, a person in your own family, someone in your inner circle of friends, the strangers up the street or, someone you use to date? Now, I think it’s anyone that falls into the category of being greedy and not wanting to see you evolve into your full potential as a person. If you have a nation full of leaders the competition to outshine your fellow brethren is one that has to be earned and like all good things acquired in life that are worth owning it takes hard work to obtain. Just as easy as it comes, it goes. Maybe that’s why they say “they just don’t make’em like they use to.

Evolution is a part of the human existence whether you want to debate its origins, everything evolves around us from ecosystems, levels within the social classes, craft of a trade, to the skill of an Artist. It is no phenonemoum that the more money you make, different places you explore outside of your comfort zone, you go through some changes (evolve). Unfortunately some will say money is the root of all evil, it’s not the money, it’s the motive in which you get it and spend it. Riches don’t make the problems go away they just make them easier to deal with, depending on where you go.

For me the FEDs, subprime rates, misleading credit card companies, CEO’s of gas companies, prejudice juries/DA, corporate bankers, and the welfare system are the graduated HATERS, trying to keep or trap others into a vicious cycle of poverty, probation-prison, and turning one another against eachother for stake on what limited resources everyone is out to get.

Forget putting the blame on the drug dealers or illegal immigrants, and any other politically incorrect source for all the ills of the world. Like all bad things, they start out petty then proceeds to engulf you like cancer affecting everything along the path, but to be fair I have never met a bad drug dealer, or lazy illegal immigrant. Grant it bad drug dealers and lazy illegal immigrants do exist, I have been lucky to never meet one.

A drug dealer simply supplies the demand just like the corner store pharmacy that my doctor sent me to for that hydrochloride. Of course because the drug dealer doesn’t have an M.D., it must be poison the drug dealer is supplying because there is no consequence if he sells you something bad that’s been stepped on. When does the junkie take some blame for not having moderation to say, NO.?

I won’t elaborate on the illegal immigration issue because there is so much corruption in it and it’s all based on cheap labor for higher profits.

Just remember the next time you want to hate on someone, don’t hate them, hate the situation you’re finding yourself in. We are all inhabitants of this world, it’s just a matter of some succeeding and accomplishing more than others with limited resources, there is not enough to go all around. It is survival of the fittest, and even then it’s who you know and not always what you know, because the “truth” isn’t always pretty and a force many do not want to reckon with.

For the record, I aint got NO Love for Hater! I hate em.

Democracy

Its a free democracy, if you want to inject yourself with drugs, binge drink , torture your body, even commit suicide, you can not do so. Even if it doesn't infringe or offend someone else, our laws are here to keep and establish order in our neighbor, family and places of mass gatherings. Complain all you want about the laws after all you didn't have any part nor interest in deciding nor drafting them. Instead of being a part of the solution, we dramatize the problem, thanks to the reporters for distorting the truth. I don't blame media nor technology, I blame the reporter and the man behind the story. Authority figures were put in place to keep order and protect, even though that authority may have some seeing in a utilitarian way. You need a chief among a crowd of barbarians. The wonderful thing about America is just when you think no one cares about you, Big Brother taps you on the shoulder in the form of the laws, police officer, DEA agent, IRS, child protective services, welfare, financial aide, FEMA, Social Security, Medicaid, to let you know, they do care.
Some feel they do more than their duty by paying taxes, praying for the sinner, doing volunteer, giving to Goodwill, attending council meetings, but we all know the EGO that lurks from within that doesn't do something without expecting acknowledgement or rewards for our efforts. Let our efforts go unappreciated, and we will be quick to withdraw all remorse and show you how unworthy you are.
Perhaps that is why the Minute Men whom feel it necessary to exercise their right to bear arms and monitor the borders, feel it is their duty to take the law into their own hands. Their intentions are sincere but so are those trying to cross the border. Through out history, all great societies have gone to war to preserve their resources and clout. We rise as a great nation, but we fall humble just like the third world when the shortage of our energy supply threatens us, just as those less educated, less civilized threaten our existence by infiltrating our schools, jobs, and neighborhoods. To understand one another, we have to abandon the comfort zone of our own ideology's, something not easy. I love America and everything it stands for; when you accept something you take the good, the bad, and the ugly.

See for me, as a minority, I always thought it was a white mans world. I will play my role as second class citizen, just as those before me, do the best and hope for a better future for those after me.
Reality check. I am afraid to have children in this type of world and just as the civil activist that marched before my time in hopes of a better future for their children, my time for change is now. But change is a gradual process and you don't move mountains in days nor months, maybe not even years.
If I choose to label myself as different, automatically bringing objectivity into a situation then I am going to encounter just that. That you and I are different, we may have a common agreement or not, but what really matters is what I got from the interaction with you. I'm lucky to get any interaction considering the high alert of suspicion, just talking to strangers might be an invitation to danger, but it could also be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Im Feelin Artistic

These here are a few of my creative writings. Let me know if your looking for a Ghost Whisperer. I can holla.

iM SO excited, I cant wait to see you.. I waited all week for you to call me and u did.. and the excitement, surprise and ectasy are all balled up inside me ready to explode from the inside of my thighs.... Wait its been like two weeks since I heard from you and the last time we spoke I wasn't quite sure you even wanted to see me again. after getting a tour of the candy shop with out buying any souvenirs.. I sure hope our relationship will not be one based solely on ur needs and wants. U call and I run to you and then your nowhere to be heard or found the moment my heart starts to wonder and my thoughts ponder. Such a foolish girl I am to believe u can only love me. Its okay.. I'll forgive you if you promise to ignite that lost fire that burned so bright many moons before you. Sacred is the man that cherishes my existence. For to love me, is to accept me and all the flaws I possess. and to honor and obey you is to understand you need ur ego stroked from time to time along with all the body parts that excite your mind.



Flying thru space with a cape wrapped around my neck and no name tatted on my chest. Superman aint no place to be found, so I call my girl to see if she wants to have some fun tonite, cuz its been awhile since we had a girls night out, meeting of the minds and souls. We just two young spirits in search of some fun and clever jokes. Maybe we'll spend the night dancing, or hanging with a BRMG DJ as he spins my favorite recollection. Either way, its going to be on tonite, cuz I made it through another week of the 8 to 5 grim. TGIF, I said as I jetted out of bed this morning, ran down the stairs, said "Good morning" to the folks. 30 minutes in traffic just to get to work off Cameron. Settled into my cube, got a cup of coffee, so I could sit and rehearse my "to do" list. Fastforward, its half past seven, time to disrupt my cerebral cortext and kiss me thru the screen and make me scream. If your game lacks loyalty forget about ever laying with royalty. Im not lost in translation just chose to journey past adolescence. I see your arrogance but it doesnt faze me, cuz I only mess with the best and you are everything like the rest

The Story of Victoria & Calvin

Have you ever saw someone across the room that reminded you of a love you once knew, a crush you never got to materialize? If after initial glances are exchanged and introductions made, you find yourself calling out someone else's name other than the person you just met. you know Victoria & Calvin all to well. Through out the night he kept pronouncing my name as Victoria, at first I thought it was a pronunciation glitch, but then I realized that I found myself addressing him by another familiar name to me, Calvin. His familiar features were comforting yet he was a complete enigma to me. He only tells me what he wants me to know. Fun was on the agenda but boundaries had to be set if I am to make a lasting impression of our meeting.

Validation

You know the one thing that has always bothered me about the validation and seeking approval thing is I have always been with someone that I felt was smarter, more secured and established than me because I wanted to learn from that, being that I believe you are a product of your environment and its influencing factors, but all the time I always secretly felt a sense of inferiority. I always wondered why we couldn't share a political, career, and ideology conversation, it was always sexual, domestic or vanity. I wondered if it was because you thought me not to be on your intellect level even though you always praised me on my smarts and quick wits. Now, that we are fighting all you want to do is put me down, which is normal, but along with those spiteful words comes some of the truth. Truth of how you feel about me, that's cool, vent. Your words stab my heart and reverberate in my thoughts, but unlike you I vent and I'm over it within two minutes later , maybe because I know dwelling is too time consuming and I or you will always be wanting to outshine the other. I'm accepting my failures and no longer living in denial, but see its not easy to see clearly when all my life I built facades and fantasies of what my life should be or I wanted it to be, instead of accepting what it really is. Alcohol and weed my choice of vice and disillusionment along with sex, never help the equation only provide temperamental escape or distortion. Fuck you, for wasting my time. Some say don't hate the player, hate the game, thing is, I never asked to play the game... its just part of life I suppose. Maybe that is why I cant seem to get along with anyone. I don't like playing games, I'm just here to make the best I can out of any situation I am in. I never finished my degree because I didn't want to sacrifice. Sacrifice is inevitable one way or the other, you pay now, or you pay later:) Nothing in life comes with out consequence, you are either rewarded or shit on by every thing that you come across. Oh, well, the world doesn't stop evolving, so why should I.